I spent the first three decades of my life following ALL the rules. I worked hard and did what my teachers and coaches and parents told me I should do. And even though I rebelled a little by becoming an entrepreneur at age 21, I set up shop and grew my business by following the rules the “experts” outlined for me.
I did the same thing with motherhood. I met with my doctor and read all the guides on how to have a healthy pregnancy. When my daughter arrived, I again listened to the experts. If they told me to wait to exercise until that magical 6 week mark or that I should try unclogging my daughter’s tear duct using breast milk (which is a story for another time) that’s exactly what I did.
My point is that whether I was wearing my mom hat or my entrepreneur hat, I used to live my life following everyone else’s rules. I’d learned these rules from family and friends and society too. Then I subconsciously pieced them together into an instruction guide that outlined how I needed to look and act and behave to be a successful woman and a good mom.
In the coaching world, the internal rulebook we carry around has a name. We call it a manual. In fact, you probably have more than one manual you’re trying to follow because most of us have manuals outlining rules for being a good mom, a good partner, a good friend, a good businesswoman and on and on. These manuals aren't always a problem but they can be one when they become a source of unnecessary stress and self doubt. That's when it pays to evaluate them.
Now that you know what a manual is, it’s time to uncover yours and potentially rewrite it too. Because if you’ve filled your manuals with rules you’ve gathered from other people, you’ll never get the chance to create your own. You won’t get the chance to question the value and purpose of the rules you’ve been following. And you won’t know if they align with who YOU really want to be and what YOU really want to do.
Here’s how you’re going to rewrite the rules:
First pick a role you want to write your manual for. It could be mother, partner, boss, businesswoman, entrepreneur, etc. (Pick the role that causes you the most stress and focus on it first. You can write manuals for other roles later.) Write that title at the top of a sheet of blank paper.
Next, set a timer for 10 minutes and write down all the expectations, rules and standards you think you have to follow or meet in order to be a good and successful (mother/partner/businesswoman/entrepreneur/etc.).
When the timer goes off, re-read your list of rules and answer these two questions:
Do you want to live your life adhering to this manual? Why or why not?
What rules could you rewrite, adjust or eliminate completely from your manual to help you live a life that’s more true to who you really are and who you want to be?
If you take these steps, you’ll gain great awareness about your manual and the rules you’ve been following in your life. But you’ll likely have a harder time rewriting your manual and releasing yourself from the grip of those rules, which is why I’m offering you the chance to walk through it together on a FREE call.
During our 30 minutes together, we’ll talk about your manual and make sure the rules in it align with who you want to be and what you want to create. We'll also talk about the ways you can use your manual to create more freedom and authenticity in your life. (And, let's be honest, Don't we all want MORE freedom and authenticity?)
If you want to claim a spot for a free call, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org now using the subject line “I’m in” so I can send you the details to set up your call.
To believing your time is now,