Before I became a mom, I was a dedicated basketball fan, an avid trail runner and an ambitious reader. I wrote cookbooks. I traveled. I made any excuse to dine at the latest restaurant and was passionate about hosting dinner parties in our home. I even went out dancing on occasion.
When I became a mom, I stopped doing those things. It was almost like that woman died and the new mom version of me took her place.
In part, I gave up old activities because my priorities shifted when my little girl started relying on me for survival, and love. Then there were the realities of my suddenly limited time and, yes, money. But I also see now that I pushed those interests aside because I didn’t think a good mom would prioritize such shallow hobbies over spending time with her baby.
That’s where I was wrong.
When I decided it was time to stop waiting, I realized I could be a good mom and carve out space to engage with the old me again. I might not consume an entire novel in a weekend but I now read before bed each night. I don’t go out dancing but I do dance daily with my girls at home. And though the realities of early bedtime make dinner parties difficult to pull off, I've discovered I enjoy hosting brunch for our friends and their growing families.
So yes, when you become a mom, life looks different. You can’t do everything you did in your pre-baby life – and you probably don’t want to. But if you also find yourself missing the old you or your old life, here are the two questions you need to ask yourself:
1. What parts of my pre-baby life do I need to reclaim today to feel more like me?
2. What activities can I pursue to indulge the old me in a way that’s realistic now that I’ve become a mom?
If you need help figuring out how to make space for the old you in your new life, I’d love to hear from you in the comments below or talk to you on a complimentary coaching call.
To believing your time is now,