If you know the story of how I found my purpose beyond motherhood, you also know it took me quite a few years to do it.
And if you asked me back then why it was taking me so long, I would have said I didn’t have enough time. I would have told you that there just weren’t enough hours in the day for me to take care of my family and manage my household and explore ways to be more than a mom too.
But the real problem wasn’t time. Because even though I was busy raising a baby and running a household, I did have time to do things just for me. The truth is I chose to spend my time in other ways. I chose to spend my time doing the things I thought I should be doing as a mom and wife. And I chose to spend my time doing things for everyone else because I refused to prioritize myself back then.
If you can relate, know that you aren’t alone. Most moms are good at prioritizing everything and everyone else above themselves. So when I start working with clients, one of the first things we do is take a look at their priorities. I ask them to make a list of their top five priorities and usually they share something like this:
1. My kids
2. My partner
3. My extended family
4. My home
5. My friendships
Go ahead and think about your top five priorities or even grab a sheet of paper and write them down. I bet you’ll find that your list is similar to this example because one thing most moms have in common is that we put ourselves last. And sometimes, we aren’t even on our priority list.
This is SO important to recognize because your priority list plays a big role in dictating how you spend your time. So if your list looks like the example above, I bet your kids are thriving. I bet your spouse and extended family feel loved and supported. I bet you show up for your friends. And I bet you’re on top of your household tasks.
But when it comes to creating time and space to prioritize you and pursue your dreams, you can see why a list that doesn’t include YOU is a problem. It pretty much guarantees you’re putting your own wants and needs aside. It makes it easier to be self-sacrificing. And it makes it pretty hard to motivate yourself to do anything for you – and especially something as big as defining yourself outside of motherhood – if you aren’t even on your priority list.
So if you want to find fulfillment beyond motherhood, you have to start shifting your priorities. You have to be on your list, preferably near the top. And if you’re ready to do that, you can start by answering these four questions:
1. Do my priorities reflect the way I want to live my life?
2. Do my priorities support my goal to find fulfillment outside of motherhood?
3. If my priorities do not support my goal, how could I re-rank them so that they do?
4. What am I missing out on if I don’t start prioritizing me?
If you answer these questions honestly, you’ll know what changes you need to make to your priority list to find time to pursue your purpose beyond motherhood. And you'll be more motivated to make those shifts because you'll understand what you'll miss out on if you continue to live life in line with your current priorities.
That said, shifting your priorities is not easy work. But you have to do this work if you want to find time to pursue your purpose beyond motherhood.
So if you know you want to start prioritizing you but you feel resistant or just plain guilty about it, that’s why I’m here. You can send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can connect one-on-one. Or, better yet, book a FREE 30-minute coaching call to talk more about this very thing.
I can't wait to hear from you.